Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Never question your parenting credentials again

MiniMac's school hosted a cook out last week for Dad's in celebration of Father's Day. We try to attend almost every school event but last week was even busier than norm for us and JohnnyMac couldn't swing it.  JMac waffled over it again when with giant eyes, MiniMac asked me, "Is my Daddy going to be there?" Which I quickly assuaged with "Daddy has an important meeting" and then added " I think it is about our upcoming trip to the beach!" Yes, not exactly true but I use tactics when I can. JMac later asked me if I thought he would be the only Dad not attending. I saw his countenance fluctuate as he contemplated whether he would be remiss or hurt our son's feelings by not being there. I assured him he would not be the only one and that I had already sidetracked our son with beach chit chat. 

This is relevant in the context that we do spend time readjusting ourselves when necessary so that we are raising our child right. There will be detours ahead, we know but hopefully only Proceed with Caution and not Watch the ____ out, BOULDERS FALLING kind of detours.

I think most parents question their methods at times. Are we doing it right? Well? Consistently? But then the past week happened and I feel redeemed from the one time I had a long talk with MiniMac about not telling me the truth regarding eating cupcakes I sent to school only to discover later he WAS telling the truth and his teachers ate every single one of the cupcakes and did NOT give them to the kids. So for that situation, and the one time you punished your child when you should not have, or snapped at them when they didn't deserve it, go easy on yourself. I am here to prove that you will never need to question your parenting credentials again. Why?

First: At Neiman Marcus the other day, I watched a very impatient woman at the cosmetics counter. She was trying to return something and the Service Associate, all said with a smile, was explaining the product did not come from Neiman's. The customer demanded the manager, of course. As the Service Associate left the counter, the customer's daughter who looked about five asked, "Can that lady not help us, Mommy?" To which the mother replies, "Actually, she is too much of a b*tch to help us, so Mommy needs to speak to someone else."

WOW. And then some WOW on top of that. I have had bad customer service galore but it had not occurred to me to teach my toddler to call women bitches when you don't get your way. I thought that only worked for Eminem. 

Second: As many of you read in the news, Dina Hot Mess Lohan had a terrible run in that prompted her to call the police. What was the scuttlebutt? She tried to use her daughter's Lifetime of Free Carvel Ice Cream card and the store denied her because A.) Despite all your best surgical effort, you won't be mistaken for your daughter. B.) Your daughter has to be present to use the card and she is either in lock up, in Cannes, or in lock up IN Cannes. So Dina called the Police and reported the store. Are you ______ kidding me? First, stop being a dumbass Dina Lohan. Oh wait, what was that? Oh, I am telling you this approximately 36 years too late? Because you are 48 and no one can be a dumbass when they are a baby or toddler so we should have chatted around your 12th birthday? Rats, I was only 3 then.  PS: For (*&^(@ sake, the ice cream cake you wanted for your 14 year old son's birthday, the cake you tried to mooch, was about $20 bones. Just PAY FOR IT. What? You don't have money? It's all in your botox and tata enhancements? Fine, I will loan you $20.00. Or, your 14 year old son will likely loan it to you if he is able to extract an explicit promise from you that you will stop embarrassing him by being such a _______.

Third:  While reading the Huffington Post this weekend, I saw a video entitled "Most Inappropriate Mom Ever."  I thought it was a joke. Not remotely. And I can't dirty up the blog by even posting the video here. You can go to YouTube and type in those words or find it on Huffington Post. Let me summarize with this: It is a mother doing some dirty stripper dancing while her two small children throw dollar bills, attempt to tuck them in the front and back of her pants, spray canned whip cream on her while she smacks her booty and then pours water down her chest. OR you can save yourself the retina burn I am suffering because that summary encapsulates all of the worst elements of the video. 

Parenting: You don't need a license but sometimes it seems like a VERY, very good idea.

And let's not end on all that is douchy and disgusting, here are two awesome examples of the polar opposite of the three parents above.

First:  While running in San Fran one a.m., I crossed paths with the course and runners for the AT&T Giants Race. While momentarily held at a corner waiting to cross, a little boy stood with his Dad, watching the mass of runners and waiting to hold up his huge sign. 

Little boy to Dad: That's pretty cool that Mom is running this big race.
Dad: Yeah, your Mom is pretty phenomenal. Not only beautiful, but she is a great athlete.

It was not merely what the Dad said, it was the way he said it. Loving his wife and being such a great example to his son about the power and beauty of women. Loved it. 

Second: I recently saw the video of Derek Redmond from the Barcelona Olympics again. If you have not seen it, please do.




Cheers to all of you who are great parents. And thanks Dina Lohan because you make most of us feel eligible to be on the cover of Parents Magazine. Even without giving our children a free ice cream cake.

 


64 comments:

Jen said...

Good one Jenny Mac :) That video (of Derek, not the inappropriate mom, I'm heeding your warning!) was amazing, I hadn't seen that.

I cannot believe that all the teachers at Mini's school ate all the cupcakes. And is it really any wonder the LiLo is such a mess with THAT one for a mom? Dad is no prize either. The world would be a better place if everyone gave half a crap about their kids :(

Buckeroomama said...

I couldn't believe what I was reading about that mom in the video, but I will take your word for it and not even try to look up the video. Maybe she was on something...? Poor kids.

Cara Smith said...

All is not lost. Even the children of those parents can turn it around. I somehow managed to.

Mrsblogalot said...

Are you kidding me? Dollar bills ...kids...mother...all in the same story? Ugh!

My name is PJ. said...

Such a great post, JMac! I laughed, but then I stopped.

It always kills me to see examples of bad parenting...a bit like a shiv to the old gut. There should be a license for parenting and you should have to be retested every few years in order to keep that license.

That being said, most parents will continue to have occasional memories of times they might have done better; or question themselves about having done their best by their children long after those children grow up. I'm not talking about dwelling on those things, rather flashing back now and again.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

The video of Derek Redmond brought tears to my eyes. Glad his Dad was there to help him.

Gigi said...

The great thing about parenting is that there's always someone else out there who lowers the bar and can make us feel better about ourselves! :)

BigSis said...

You are right - wow on top of wow. Sometimes there are people out there to be our role models. Of course, some of those are role models of what NOT to do.

Susan Erickson said...

You have to wonder...do they not care about the kids? Ignorance is a pretty hard sell in this society. If we don't know what is appropriate, we can sure find out easily. Hope you kicked the asses of the adults that ate all of the kid's cupcakes. Were they really teachers?..oh my gawd!

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

I am so glad you ended with a happy/positive example. It brought tears to my eyes. What a great dad!

Eva Gallant said...

Don't be too hard on those teachers; I've seen your cooking on your blog. I think I would have difficulty sharing, too!

Ginny said...

I just want to know when child services was called about that *&^$%-dancing mother. Before or after it was posted on the net. And who the heck was the videographer? Her daughter standing on a chair?

You warned correctly—my retinas will not forgive me for the rest of the day; maybe even the rest of the week.

Ginny said...

Oh yes, before I forget:

The dad in SF talking about his wife - I thought it was my husband you were talking about! It is amazing when a parent can show that kind of love to their babies.

And Derek Redmond's father, one of the most loving acts of parenting I've ever seen. Thank you for sharing!

Jules said...

NOW do you see why I beg and beg and beg you to move to where I live???? Those other moms, yes, those are some of the moms of the kids in my class. YOU are the rare kind that is becoming an increasingly rare species.....

P.S. I have NEVER heard of the teachers eating all of the cupcakes that are sent in.... ODD!

The Robin's Nest said...

Great post. Some people are truly appalling and my heart breaks for their children.

However, I love what that dad said to his child. My father always has given our mom that kind of respect and love in front of us kids and I have always loved that about him.

I hope my husband will do the same - but I also need to remember to be the same toward him. It might be kind of difficult when he leaves his underwear on the bathroom floor though :)

MommyLovesStilettos said...

The story about the dad and the son talking about the wife/mom racing is SO incredibly sweet :)

Tiffany said...

Great post!!! Dina Lohan (the whole family really) makes me want to puke. And there definitely should be parenting licenses!!

AmyLK said...

Ok, even with all the problems I am having with Son right now, I KNOW I am a better parent than that Lohan women. Thanks for the reminder, JenniMac!

Margaret (Peggy or Peg too) said...

JennyMac - but what you forgot to mention about the orange Dina Lohan is that she actually said to the cops upon arrival, "see I told you that we Lohans get treated much worse than normal people."

That fried my ass!
That is because we pay for the things we want. Where's that lady at the Neiman counter this gal is the b-h.

Whew - i needed that.

Shell said...

I hate that there are such sucky parents out there, but glad that at least they can make me feel better.

Allyson & Jere said...

What a great post! It does never cease to amaze me the level of BAD parenting that is out there. I'm always sad when I see certain people that are parents, my heart breaks for the kid.

Loved the DAd and Kid at the race story. Does a heart good to know there really are good people and parents out there.

Oh, and I think you're little white lie to MiniMac was perfectly acceptable. Unfortunately, you guys cant be at everything all the time. Gots to pay the bills too, ya know.

ellen abbott said...

Just be willing to apologize to your kid when you are wrong about something.

And when that second kid comes a long, you'll pretty much stop second guessing yourself. You'll be too busy.

Michael Rivers said...

Great post! I feel such sadness when I see how some parents treat their kids. Cheers to all the great parents out there!

foxy said...

And that last video totally made me tear up... thanks for sharing it!

foxy said...

Some parents are just so ridiculous, it's like they've GOT to be a joke.

Mandy's Life After 30 said...

One of the most gratifying things about parenthood for me has been the depths of my soul that I didn't know existed and how much I see things in a new way because of this tiny person I managed to birth.... it truly is amaing! Which is why it makes it sad and sick to see/hear stories like Dina Lohan and department store shoppers.

But yes, we are citizens of the year next to those crazies! May we always be good examples to our children and to those around us whenever we can!

Brian Miller said...

some parents make me sick to the stomach...and knowing that they are the example for their own children who wil continue the vicious cycle...

The Boob Nazi said...

yikes... now I have to look that video up.

Mira said...

I need constant reminders that I'm not the worst parent on the block I tell ya. The compromises I make for having triplets make me feel guilty daily...

Erin said...

I hesitate to look that You Tube video up because of the horrifying Hooters commercial I saw yesterday. I am beginning to wonder if people are going insane. Is there something in the water?

Can't be, because otherwise good parents like us wouldn't exist....

The Vegetable Assassin said...

As a non parent who never intends to be a parent, does this mean I get carte blanche to be an asshole all I want? :) Awesome.

You know, look at BOTH of Lindsay Lohan's parents. A self entitled diva and an effing looney tunes psycho. And we wonder what the hell is wrong with Lindsay and her woman-child creepy sister. Hello? She inherited both traits, that's what happened. That family is a child services nightmare. I wish they'd all go away and live on an island somewhere and we'd never have to hear of them again.

Jaime @ La vie...J'aime said...

This is such a sweet post! Dina Lohan makes me sick...

M-Cat said...

For once I think I am speechless. THe youtube video description and rendered me mute.

On the other hand, I am a firm believer that the best parent you can be is one that loves your spouse. Somehow the love between the parents transcends to the children and instills a sense of self esteem that nothing else can do.

My oldest, who is douchebag extrordinare, even commented the other day, that he respected Splenda and I for the fact that we have been married for 26 years and still are madly in love. Who knew the dumbass even noticed......

Writing Without Periods! said...

I agree with Erin...I'm wondering if people are going insane. The one about the "mom stripper" is still freaking me out.
Mary

Pricilla said...

I guess when one is used to cashing in on one's child one cannot figure out how to live otherwise....

DaisyGal said...

considering the fact (and if you've read my blog lately) that I have felt like a really horrible person/mom/wife and overall human being, I think I just found a little sparkle of light and without mood enhancing drugs.

Seriously how do these people get the gift of children (as an Infertile that went on to have children) I have to say that this makes my blood boil.

but your humor was spot on....and made me LAUGH...which is good..this week.

THANKS

Mommy Lisa said...

Thanks for ending with the positive side...OMG after the Miley Cyrus post I read earlier today where people started adding on Toddlers and Tiaras from TLC I thought I would implode from all the bad parenting!!!

Dumblond said...

Oooh thanks for the heads-up on the video. I don't think I could have forgiven you if you had just put that link out there with no warning. That woman is not a mother...she's an egg donor.

Aging Mommy said...

Great post and it really is so terribly sad that some parents are parents at all and so many people at the same time who would make really great parents are simply not able to become one.

Just telling it like it is said...

Happy Father's day to Mr....and I know what you mean about Dena...My son says I mess him up but he's 15 yrs. old and is a really good boy besides the fact that I am his mother!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Some folks really should not be allowed to reproduce!
<><

Ellen said...

Oh my gosh, this post is awesome! And yeah, I've actually met and had a conversation with Dina Lohan before at a party. She really is THAT bad. After she gulped down her glass of wine and assured me that she was NOT DRUNK, she proceeded to tell me that she doesn't date because she's scared to get an STD. I want those 10 minutes of my life back!

http://www.firednfabulous.com

Simply Suthern said...

They dont show the great stories like the Derek Redmond video enuff while they flood the airways with the Lohan stuff.

Not a big fan of Ted Turner but he used to have a Sunday morning show called Good News where all the stories were uplifting.

Mama Kat said...

I have a feeling if I tried to help my daughter across the finish line she would kick my a$$. But I love that video!

Caty said...

I see so many "Lohan" parents in my line of work. Sometimes it seems that the only people breeding these days are the ones who shouldn't be. But then every once in awhile, I'll get to meet a great parent. I agree-people should need a permit to reproduce!

shortmama said...

Stunning examples of why everyone should be screened before becoming a parent

Babes Mami said...

Nothing like Dina, stripper practice and a crazed woman at Neiman to put my parenting bad days in perspective.

Michele R said...

I loved this post!!
And I know you don't need anyone to tell you this, but it is totally OK not to go to every pre-school or school event.

Mighty M said...

I can't help but agree on your comment about licensing....at least all parents should be required to take some training courses. Jeesh - I will totally save this post for the days things are just not going quite right, for they will never be as bad as what you posted here. SCARY parents!!

Jenn@the loves of jenn said...

I question my parenting skills just about every day but then I see things like that video of the mom dancing and I think I'm doing a pretty good job! I saw it on TV last week and it was just about the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
Great video of the father/son. Thanks for sharing!

undomestic chica said...

I'd forgotten about that video! She's disgusting!

Christiejolu said...

I don't want to see that video ever...I do silly dances here(Like the sprinkler...oh yeah) and my 5 year old says "Mommy you are disturbing me" LOL!

Kate said...

Amen to everything you said.

Also, may I point out that I want to be the kind of teacher who eats all her students' cupcakes? I know childhood obesity is a concern across the country, but that seems to be taking it a bit too far.

Myya said...

Miss Jenny Mac I do believe you have made me even more of a blubbery idiot then I already am. What a heartfelt video! Oh my gosh & the comment from the dad in San Fran... what a great MAN!

P.S. The teachers ate ALL of the cupcakes??? Poor kiddos!

brainella said...

Oh, damn...you saw my video? Now everyone knows!

I'd never seen the piece about Derek Redmond. Thanks. :)

K A B L O O E Y said...

Loved both sets of dads and sons and am going to ignore the crap moms and daughters. Also figure I'm somewhere in the middle of that rainbow. And I can't believe your son's teachers ate all the cupcakes; how'd they think that was going to go unnoticed? Oh well, did they save you from buying end-of-year presents?

carma said...

that dad definitely deserves one of those #1 Dad mugs - he's earned it for reals

Leah Rubin said...

Wow, yeah as they said in the original Parenthood movie, "You have to have a license to fish, hunt or drive a car, but any bu**-reaming a**hole can be a father." According to this, it goes for mothers, too! SCARY how badly some people behave, and what they are teaching their kids!

Little Ms J said...

This is when I start to think that Gattica had it right.

Vodka Logic said...

Luckily most days I don't need these reminders that I am doing a good job as a parent but it nevers hurts to see there are bigger losers on the planet.

Thanks for ending the blog with some inspiration... I am sure MiniMac will grow up to be a fine young man. xx

Intense Guy said...

Its sad but true many/most humans can reproduce.. but being able to do so, doesn't make you a 'fit' parent.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

At running video totally had me tearing up! It's so hard to see your kids fail at things they've worked so hard for!

As for the sucky parents I'm sure my kids will have plenty of stories to tell their therapist!

Laurnie said...

I cant wait to be a mom, so I can be a GOOD parent.

And that video grossed me out. Especially all the wet spots on her shirt, gross.

JoAnn's Daughter said...

Great post! Scary thought...Dina Lohan was voted a Long Island Mother of the Year a couple of years ago by some stupid committee. Never was I more ashamed (as I am from Long Island) - terrifying that ANYONE could possibly think she is someone to emulate.