Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Apparently, I will get naked for Prada

Add another thing to my list of experiences in life and make a footnote under the subcategory:  Things I never thought I would do.  Let me share the situation.

1. I have no problem with naked.
2. I am not a big public nudity person. Oh, low cut shirt or some short shorts here and there are no problem. And I frolicked on a few topless beaches while in Europe but really, everyone from Baby Lulu to Grandma Nardelli were too. 
3. HOWEVER: I don't dig naked paraders. You know, the girl on her cell phone in the locker room at the gym? Ms. Freedoms Just Another Word for Nothin' Left to Lose? Like all the most important calls in.the.world need to take place in that venue while all your Candy Land is on display. Oh, no thank you. And to the one woman who did this last Friday, it's cool that you might be a bit bohemian but goodness, Misses. Your South Park looks a little bit like a cross between Horshack and the Harlem Globetrotters. How do I know? Because you are a naked parader and even Ray Charles would be unable to miss that situation. 

So let's say I am completely comfortable with the skin I am in but, I won't be first in the pool gate at Mandalay Bay during topless sun splashing. I like a little modesty but apparently, that has its boundaries too. How do I know? Proof in point last week. 

I went to a sample sale. Oh Lawwwwwwwwwd. Do you know this dreamy sensation? I thought really great sample sales were limited really to NYC and LA but no, I got a little whisper of one and opted to make a visit. Upon arriving, there are scads of clothes on temporary racks which I, along with a litany of other women, began to pour through. Escada, Laundry, Nicole Miller, oh my. After bustling up my arms with some fab finds, I asked a woman who appeared to be working there if there was an opportunity to try anything on. She directed me to two double doors. On the other side of those doors was a giant mirror lined room that was soon packed with dozens of other women. Even though every other person present could care less, I didn't really feel like shedding down to my skivs standing in a space similar to an airplane hangar so I turned around as I thought, I will just buy them all and hope for the best. The only other sample sale I went to included this theory and let me assure you it is NOT a good theory. 

As I am almost at the exit, a woman came in and said, "I just heard that everything with a green tag is an additional 75% off." I looked at the tag of the beautiful black Prada halter top nearest my fingers in my bulging pile of goods and the emerald green tag read "$100.00" with a line through it and "$50.00" written underneath. Doing quick math, the result prompted me to exclaim internally ARE YOU F__ KIDDING ME? I will pay $12.50 for this!?!?!? Listen, that might not mean a thing to some, but my heart filled up with butterfly kisses at the mere opportunity to buy a brand new Prada halter top for $12.50. So I sauntered right back to my previous spot because apparently, I will get naked for Prada. And if not entirely naked, than stripped down to one tiny bare essential.

As I scan my pile, I saw several other green tickets and try to contain my enthusiasm. Apparently, I will get naked for Laundry and Versace too. I will still leave the Dirty Vegas Poolside Topless Tango for others, but if I come upon some Dolce and Gabbana in a sample sale, my clothes will come flying off faster than the hookers on Jersey Shore. Fashion made a convert out of me.

70 comments:

Cara Smith said...

Hopefully everyone was wearing their skivies that day and not going comando.

Pricilla said...

Hey, a bargain will do things to people...
And do you really thing that in the fashion/bargain induced coma everyone was in that anyone was even looking at anything but the labels and green tags in their own arms?

I wonder what a sample sale in The Middle of Nowhere, Montana would look like.

My eyes! My eyes!

Maria said...

Yes! Prada at 75% off? Hell yes, naked as the day I was born and a whole lot cleaner too!

Joann Mannix said...

Oh, so would I, Baby, so would I.

My favorite boutique in town has some of the most exquisite things and I love shopping there, but it's crazy really. Their "dressing rooms" are kind of like that, one big curtained off area with wall to wall mirrors.
I don't know if it's a part of their hipness factor or what, but I absolutely hate it.

But, their things are lovely and one of a kind, so I guess I'll take it off, too, when the right fashion is calling my name.

JadeLD said...

I remember a few shops with changing rooms like this in the UK from about 5years ago, it was fairly commen so we didn't really think about it but I've not seen any for a long time. That wasn't for prada either just your typical high street shop!

Badass Geek said...

This sounds like the plot of a movie I watched once...

Stacy (the Random Cool Chick) said...

Prada at 75% off? I think I'd shed clothes for that, too. ;)

Susan Erickson said...

heh, who's looking...there are bargains to be had...we all enjoy a good deal and when the goods are designer...who cares about showing the girls?

SPLENDEROSA said...

OMG, you are hilarious on this one.
xx's

Will Burke said...

For years, I've been trying to name the syndrome: "Freedom's just another word for nothing-left-to-lose." Thank you, and no wonder you have 1432 followers. I bow.

DaisyGal said...

It's official..you're my HERO.
this was the best post, the funniest thing I've read all week.

The "South Park" ..Horseshak OMG, I was laughing so hard my coworker asked if I was ok..."and why I was not working" ...hmmm???

LOVE IT !!!! and You!!!

Brian Miller said...

haha. as far as naked in public...no comment...smiles.

Ed said...

I have a whole bunch of laundry at my house.
Come on over.
You don't have to get naked, but I could use some help washing it.
(TWSS)
Ha!

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I'd get naked for a $12 Prada halter too.

Sarah from 20somethingcupcakes said...

Oh yes - getting naked for a sample sale is totally necessary, and totally appropriate! One of the reasons I miss New York... xxSAS

Eva Gallant said...

You are too funny! I've seen dressing rooms like the one you described; they are not the most inviting places to try things on!

MommaAmma said...

Ending with "hookers on Jersey Shore" made me pee a little. Ha!

I've been to a few spots with the communal dressing room. They would be a lot easier to take if the ladies from the nude beach were there but nooo, no saggies. All 20 year old hard bodies. Pure torment.

Gigi said...

Hey, a woman's gotta have her standards. Those are some serious bargains. Any self-respecting shopper would've done the same.

Jules said...

After going to massage school, I'm ok with naked too. But the prancing around the gym locker room is still weird. And Sista, if you're getting a good deal, take it off!

Andrea said...

Yeah, I would have done the same sister!

She Who Sasses said...

My clothes would have been off in record time to try that stuff on FOR THOSE PRICES!!!

Intense Guy said...

You ain't been to the Jersey Shore lately...

They haggle and haggle and haggle... and then they want to go someplace nice... takes 'em forever to get nake...

Oh.. I'm so far off the point here... sorry.

*uncorked said...

Sounds amazing - the sample sale, not you naked. Doesn't sound bad, don't get me wrong - just not my thing. Hell, at this point I'd get naked for some Limited or Ann Taylor. My standards are pretty low since my mortgage and student loans are pretty high. Anything that stretches out to the point that it's 10 sizes to big for you should be sent to me. Thanks.

M-Cat said...

Oh how funny! At our gym, we have a bunch of old ladies who come do the water aerobics class at 8am in the morning. Those biddy's are FREE birds. Singing hymns in the shower, parading their 70 year old naked selves around and rubbing lotion on each others jiggly backs.

I throw up in my mouth every damn time

Aunt Becky said...

I would TOTALLY get naked for Prada.

Salt said...

I have never experienced the pure joy of attending a sample sale, but I'm quite sure that I'd drop trow for Dolce and Gabbana also.

A Prada halter for $12.50!? I just had to pick my jaw back up off my desk.

Oh and...there are SO MANY of those women at my gym. More power to them I guess, but I just don't get it.

Grand Pooba said...

Bahahaha! $12.50 for Prada? I'd get naked too.

Kristina P. said...

I will get naked for anything.

blueviolet said...

Shoot, I'd go straight up ho for $12.50!!

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Imagine that top had been Old Navy! They'd have paid YOU to take it. Well done. :)

The Boob Nazi said...

I would too.

Confessions of a Mother, Lawyer & Crazy Woman said...

Better than naked for Target. Be proud for having standards.

PS South Park is my new fave expression.

Something Happened Somewhere Turning said...

That's just funny stuff.

Ellen @ FirednFabulous said...

Oh lord, I just can't do sample sales! Too stressful. And while I have no problem with naked either, I tend to be modest in public places, like the gym locker room. It's not so much that I'm shy, it's more about the fact that I'm pretty certain no one else wants to witness my wobbly bits!

http://www.firednfabulous.com/

Life Without Pink said...

OMG how awesome!! Why can't I find deals like that? $12.50, WOW!

Lisa and Laura said...

$12.50 for Prada? Dude, I think I'd talk a long walk around the block for that. Sad, but true.

Help! Mama Remote... said...

Rotfl!!!I'll get naked too. Might even pole dance on a rack! Purses, shoes, chunky jewelry! Oh MY!!!!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

Hon, I am stripping just reading this.

Myya said...

Are you F.... Kidding Me is right! That is so cool. I've never been to a sample sale before either, but I think I'd run in naked if it meant buying some amazing pieces.

Caty said...

wow, $12.50 for Prada!! You can't find those prices at the local walmart. Oh yeah, I'd get naked too (and I hate undressing in front of my best friends when we share a hotel room). congrats on the great buys!

Taylor-Made Wife said...

You hussie! Just kidding. I would absolutely do the same thing. Im so jealous of your finds!

Aging Mommy said...

Oh my! I feel the same way as you but given an opportunity like that to buy designer clothes at knock-off crazy prices I'd be stripping off in no time too! But you didn't tell us - did you buy the top and all the other finds too?!?

Christiejolu said...

Cool...So did the stuff look good? Did you buy them???

carma said...

Hot dang! I'd get naked and roll around in mud for that if need be...

Jenn@the loves of jenn said...

I'm a pretty modest gal but I'm pretty certain I would have done the same!

And anyone who is going to parade around naked needs to groom the lady parts. It's required!

Mighty M said...

I am so envious of your great finds!!

Simply Mel said...

Prada could of had me naked at $50!

Herding Cats said...

Naked for Prada? I can hardly blame you!

Babes Mami said...

Who wouldn't get naked for 75% off!!!

anaïs said...

we definitely learn something new about ourselves every day! LOL

Emily said...

You better believe I would get naked for a deal like that!

Jennifer said...

I know I'm "supposed" to care about those designer names, but really, I don't. Like, not at all. If I knew I could buy them for those prices? Sure, I'd shop. But I just plain don't believe in paying a lot more for basically the same thing. I like having a cute piece of clothing, but I could care less who's name is on the tag. Call me a freak. Whatever. Oh, and clearly I must be missing part of the X chromosome because I couldn't give two squats about purses either. Hmph. Guess I'm weird.

wendy said...

This had me laughing right out loud.
OMG
I can do naked here on my ranch. No one lives close enough to see me. I often stand naked on more porch ....cooling myself for a moment with the ol'menopause thing going on. It is very liberating.
We have a hot tub and of course all I wear is my best smile.
BUT...I do not do naked around others. Seriously, I don't want to make people throw up.
I went to a hot springs last fall and some ladies in there were "naked" and I saw more bush then I needed too.....Hellllloooo.....Brazilian anyone.
funny post

Little Ms J said...

Strip, sister. It's Prada. Love it.

I really wished I would've taken a picture of what I came across at the gym the other day. A wrinkly-butted (yes, it is a new term) Asian woman with a towel under her haunches. She was sitting at a vanity applying skin creams while I tried to figure out how I would get the image of her pocked and folded rear end out of my head.

shortmama said...

We all have our kryptonite right?

Joanna Jenkins said...

Sounds like some serious savings. I think even I'd get naked for 75% off ;-)
Cheers,
jj

Leah Rubin said...

Who could blame you? No way would or SHOULD we pass up such opportunities! Besides, you can't believe anyone was checking you out-- everyone was probably too focused on trying to find their own special treasures!

Nice going!

The Random Blogette said...

I would've done the same thing! And, it's not like you are totally naked..unless you don't wear skivvies! LOL! I am jealous of the sample sale. Living in Toledo, we don't get anything like that.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Getting neeked for that kind of a deal is good!
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Anonymous said...

hilarious! I almost choked laughing so hard. My sister has your site bookmarked so I thought I would take a look. So glad I did. Cant wait to tell my friends about your blog.

Intense Guy said...

I sat here most of today pondering what might happen if I bought a Prada anything and waved it around out front of the office building and shouted, "First naked lady gets it for free!!"

I decided it might even be worth the expense.

leigh said...

I just love you.

Kate said...

I applaud you. It is important to have your priorities straight. And your seams. But mostly your priorities.

Slamdunk said...

Glad to see you flourish on a journey of self-exploration... I mean nice steal on the shopping venture.

AmyLK said...

for 75% off, I probably would get neked too!

Bumpkin on a Swing said...

I would strip down to my skivies for $12.50 Prada in a Mississippi Bumpkin second. One Mississippi, fashion orgasm regarding Prada for such a fabulous price.........Doesn't take much for us Bumpkins ya know.
I am here linking this post up for Friday Favorites leave you with a laugh.

Postman said...

Another humorous romp, Jenny. Good thing for me I've got a passion for outerwear, so the most I ever have to take off is my coat whenever I'm at a clothing sale. Still, you've got to take clothes off before you put 'em on, I always say.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oh, I can SO relate! A good sale is the biggest rush in life for me! Well... almost! ;-)

Holly said...

Oh yeah, I have been to those sample sales, and I have seen people bare it all for less than Prada...you were lucky!

Anonymous said...

So funny! And Prada? For 12.50? Sign me up.