I feel naked without it...

My office replaced our normal soap with something cheap and disgusting that reeks like the soap in the elementary school nurse’s office more economical. I appreciate cost saving measures. However, I have had an allergic reaction to this wretched lye soap new  product. The allergic reaction is only on my left hand ring finger where my wedding bands sit. 

No, I am not allergic to the rings or marriage itself. My Doctor, upon having a look, said it is likely exposure to a new product. Hence, the culprit is the heinous soap. I have tried to work around it but what I have come to realize is this ring finger, which scarcely goes noticed, is now the exact center of my personal universe since it is irritated by everything that touches it including air and my eyes. 

In order to treat it properly, I had to remove my wedding rings which I was hesitant to do. I have not removed my wedding band since the day JohnnyMac placed it on my finger. And an acoutrement my finger lived fine without for 30 years, I will say the first day or two even catching glimpses of my hand sans wedding bands made me feel like I was looking at a strangers hand at the end of my arm.

So while I have my ring off, I run into one of two characters jackasses I know at the gym. JA #1 says nothing about my barren hand or even makes reference to it. How do I know it made the radar? Easy. Because when I saw JA #2, who after idle yammering chit chat, was so antsy she gave me the impression of a burning question under the surface. We live a life of parenthood and domesticity. There are no burning questions right now.

With painstaking predictability, she inquired about JohnnyMac. How is he? Oh, he’s good. Everything going well for him? Everything good between you? OH, I see you are not wearing your wedding ring…followed by a puzzled/weird/Nancy Grace facial expression to the point I feel like I should expect TMZ photogs to leap out from behind the trees.

My thought, if you can see my absent wedding ring, you can certainly see the allergic reaction, yes? I know this because someone standing on their front porch in Mississippi can likely see it. But instead, I find myself being a smartass and saying in a conspiratorial whisper, “I sold it on eBay.”

Go tell that on the mountain. 

But to be honest, it is a big adjustment to see an empty ring finger. I don’t identify myself by  wedding bands but they have become a part of me. I know some people who remove their rings while working out or playing sports, but it is a strange adjustment for me to see that empty finger. I was once told my an elderly woman that removing your wedding bands was bad luck. Is it? I doubt it. But I do feel a bit naked without them. 

My hand is healing, but slowly. In the interim, my ring finger remains bare. Since I can not replace the hand erosion sauce with something more soothing, I have added a supplemental a bottle of soap in the women's room on my floor. 

And I would like to start a petition that we not fill our corporate bathroom with soap made of bleach powder and lye but that is likely not a wise idea. Or I could suggest that a cost saving measure would be to reduce the 10,000 gallons of coffee we make per day in our break room but that will likely get me killed be denied.