When the uterus deserves compensation

My first real indication in the last few years that the union between scientific advancements and my expectations was not going to be completely harmonious was discovering I was pregnant despite being on birth control. And no, it wasn't "take it when you feel like it" birth control either. It was 99% effective birth control. Yes, I know it can still happen. Oh, do I know. My uterus was planning to stay as is, enjoy a fabulous trip in St. Maarten but instead, got down to work.

And when you are pregnant, you begin to appreciate other odd pregnancy stories in a completely different light.

First, there was our son's teacher who was six months pregnant and apparently did not know. I simply could not believe someone could be in this condition and be unaware. The only thing more baffling than this particular situation is that TLC has created a television show on this very subject. Hmmmmm. Someone at TLC clearly was enjoying some cocktails during "Programming Brainstorm Session."

Then a story last May of a woman pregnant with babies from two different fathers. So her twins will actually be half-brothers.

I won't even elaborate on the 19.2 pound baby born or the youngest mother in medical history, Lina Medina, who was only five when she gave birth. Or the woman who gave birth to 69 children. Granted, this was in the 1800's. However, there is a certain TV show Mom well on her way with her 18 kids to date. The uterus wanted to share a piece of information: it is not the George Washington Bridge. The object is not to get as many people through there as possible.

And a piece of news from last week. About the woman who got pregnant when she was ALREADY pregnant. A woman in Alabama was 2.5 weeks pregnant when she got pregnant again. No, I am not making this up. No, you did not misread. The children have two separate due dates.

Makes my uterus glad we just had that one little surprise that turned into a beautiful and sparkling little man.

But some of the other uteri above? If they could boycott until further compensation can be negotiated, they might.

And then I saw this sign. At a school. And my uterus and I thought well, if men can be "expecting fathers" then oh yes, our job just got SO much easier, didn't it?


Maybe its not too late to have 18 children.