This is no way to close the deal

One day while in Mexico, my Father and I perused the various wares on display by the gamut of vendors while shopping at an outdoor market.

Vendor in a rather sly fashion says to my Father: You should buy this watch for your beautiful wife.

Me: Ugh

My Father to Vendor: This is my daughter.

Vendor, with absolutely no pause and not remotely convivial, says to my Father: Ahhhhh...she obviously got her looks from her Mother.

My Father (with scowl) to Vendor: Perhaps. But she got all her brains from me.

Me: Well, out of fairness, Mom is rather smart too.

My Father immediately departs. Likely can't decide which of the two clowns in front of him he is finds the most irritating. An action can also speak a thousand words. In this case my Father's action only needed to speak nine: Kiss my arse and then watch it walk away.

First, my comment that my Father may potentially be but a mere 50% responsible for my smarts, well, that was just the salty icing on the already salty cake.

However, I am not trying to sell my Father anything, unlike Vendor. Oh Vendor, here is what I learned in Sales 101: Never give up control of the sales process. Ooops. Too late.

Ummmm, Mr. Vendor? Two ways to ensure you will NEVER sell my Father your shiny gold watch:. First, compliment what you believe is his child bride THEN tell him he is ugly.