Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Now, that's a tee shot

What a treat to discover that shenanigans abound from the East Coast to the West Coast. This little tidbit came from the Seattle news. The Director of County Planning and Development Services in one Washington County was fired recently after an independent investigation found that he had exposed himself to some women during a golf tournament in June. According to the police report, Mr. L drank two full glasses of Jack Daniel's after he arrived at the Golf Club at Redmond Ridge and continued to drink heavily throughout the day.

Nothing says PROFESSIONAL better than inhaling Jack Daniels all day at a golf tournament sponsored by a Corporation you are trying to get in bed with and attended by all of your colleagues.

Witnesses said two nearby golfers were discussing tee length and Mr. L sauntered over and said "I'll show you the size of my tee" before he whipped out his Johnson.

The following day, when questioned, Mr. L said he had no memory of the incident. Wise answer. Bless your heart and your whippersnapper, Mr. L.

At least he didn't talk about his shaft.
Or his ball washer.

County Council members were informed Mr. L had been terminated but weren't told the reason. Well, thankfully we have a NEWSPAPER that doesn't keep secrets well. Good job whomever made the decision NOT to tell the City Council members and instead let them read about it over morning coffee.

And what kind of "independent investigation" is needed? Aren't several EYEWITNESSES sufficient?

Men's FootJoys = $200.00

New TaylorMade Driver = $300.00

Whipping out your ding a ling at a tournament with your business associates?
Priceless $149,000.00 or the equivalent to your annual salary.

85 comments:

  1. Oops, bye bye Mr County Planning Director. Another one bites the dust.

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  2. Hi

    I am enjoying your blog and have presented you with an award: You may not yet have this one. lol x

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  3. Which is why I don't drink JD anymore..not that I have a johnson or would whip it out if I did...

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  4. Stories from the news, email circulars... there's no end to your talent! Great work!!!

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  5. Men are very proud of their shaft!!! A few think it is a magical toy that no one else owns.

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  6. Yeah..... How many fifths of Jack does $149,000.00 buy? Yikes.

    My initial response was something along the lines of "What is it with men and their wieners - you never see women behaving that way." But then I remembered that my sister and her friends are real quick with a boob flash after a couple few... (No one ever seems to complain about that. A double standard that actually works in women's favor? Couldn't be...)

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  7. Oh man... men are not always (or you know, ever) the smartest group are they. Too funny

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  8. I'll never understand why men are so obsessed with their johnson that they think every woman wants to see it

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  9. What a moron. What happened to manners? Oh, wait...

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  10. What an arse!!! Did someone yell "FORE" prior i hope :)-

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  11. I have so many bad jokes running through my head that it hurts not to let them all hang out. Pun intended. What a ding-a-ling. Again, pun intended.

    Joshua

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  12. Wow...this guy is Klassy. With a K.

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  13. The only thing Jack Daniels makes me want to whip out is a pillow, so I can fall asleep at the bar.

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  14. Yet another reason why I vow to never play golf.

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  15. Now, that is a classic story. But, was his tee longer??

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  16. What a dummy! What is it about men that makes them so stupid and so willing to whip it out, drunk or not?

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  17. Sounds like a handicap situation!

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  18. Geesh, (I went to write public and wrote pubic....), enough from me.

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  19. Jack Daniels is such a trouble maker!

    He is almost as troublesome for me as Jose Cuervo.

    Almost. Though he has never made me flash my boobs. Jose has. And to this day I will blame Jose and not take any responsibility for myself!

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  20. Hilarious. Well, that's what you deserve when you are so freakin' obsessed with your, um, manhood.

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  21. Jack Daniels was never the problem when a perv pulled out his johnson at the public library. It happened a LOT more than I care to talk about too! We never had problems with women flashing anyone though...wonder why. :)

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  22. Whenever I expose myself on the golf course, I do it behind the bushes like any true gentleman! This guy is just classless!

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  23. I will never understand why people do this - boggles my mind. I know alcohol's to blame...but seriously, is it really? I mean if you'd do it when you're drunk...it's obviously something you've thought about when you're sober.

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  24. I've always (secretly) wished that someone would whip out their trouser snake so I could point and laugh hysterically. Unless of course it was so impressive it did leave me speechless.

    I guess it's no secret now!

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  25. Ehhhh, all youse wimmin has johnson-envy...

    What does a Director of County Planning and Development Services actually do anyway? Anything usefull? Maybe they won't bother to replace this idiot...

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  26. hmm.. Some people just shouldn't get drunk...
    shaking my head chuckling...

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  27. Now, that IS priceless! I hope it was a warm day, at least. Otherwise, he would face some REAL embarassment!

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  28. What makes guys think anyone wants to see THAT???

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  29. LMAO!!!
    Ya, Jack Daniels is no friend of mine and this confirms it!

    Great post!

    Smooches,
    Sassy Chica

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  30. Bahaha, this is great. Dang, he has to be one smart cookie to risk loosing those G's.

    Chrystal

    PS Sorry Ive been MIA lately....Ive missed you post and comments!!!! Promise I'll get back on my game soon!

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  31. Oye Veh! I have to say I thought you might be writing this story about my old boss...every year when the annual golf tournament rolled around he would "TELL" us to dress skimpy...YEP, you heard me right....can I just say how DUMB I was for not filing a complaint!! I could be cashing that $149,000!!!!

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  32. Hahaha! Good to know, I'm staying away from the Jack Daniels at my company's next golf tournament!

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  33. haha oh dear! very happy to say that consuming jack daniels doesn't encourage me to get my bits out!

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  34. What a tool.
    I bet if he'd have been drinking tequila he would've been able to get away with it. Tequila-drinking assholes are more charming than JD drinking assholes, IMHO.

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  35. Just what is it about men and the size of their ding a lings?

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  36. Golf, booze, and pigs don't mix.

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  37. You know what? I have never got that drunk that I have had the urge to get my wing wang out in public?

    Does that make me less of a man?

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  38. bwahahaaa!! YIKES!!!! bet his wife wasn't happy about that!

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  39. Men and their d*cks...I swear you just have to feel bad for them once in a while.
    They don't know any better.
    'Specially when they hang with their friend Jack.

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  40. I wonder if his new nickname among friends is Big Bertha or Putter?

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  41. what a jackass, I'm so glad I wasn't there to be forced to see that lame dude's weehaw!

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  42. Never get drunk at the company Christmas party! Or while golfing...very interesting. If he was good looking, I wonder if he would of still been fired. All the girls like to good looking ones!

    Thx for stopping by!

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  43. I think you can only blame the booze so much on this one. He was gonna whip it out one way or another.

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  44. what a waste of good liqueur...

    hey, come take a look at today's post, you might be interested in how i rebuilt New orleans, one cocktail at a time

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  45. Nothing good comes of drinking with your co-workers or your boss. I have definitely learned that lesson the hard way.

    Great post!

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  46. This is EXACTLY why I'm afraid of golfing.

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  47. Wow that is really quite "special" Men can be very strange.

    Kate x

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  48. It seems like no matter how drunk you are, you'd know not to whip out the whipper.

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  49. I think I may dislike him even before the unprofessional behavior. Seriously, that job title means he don't do squat. I believe most job titles that verbose, that actually say nothing, mean the same.

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  50. Further proof that Jack Daniels is the devil. Or maybe it's the...er...nevermind.

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  51. that is so funny and sad at the same time. this is why one should drink during important events uh....

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  52. LMAO! Oh,PRICELESS!

    I'm speechless...

    I have a bolg award waiting for you on my blog because you are so fabulous! I'm sure you have this one already but, you're a hit! What can I say...

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  53. Funny...but wrong! Some thoughts need to stay in your head Mister...and not travel out of your mouth and flop out of your pants! Thanks for coming by today. Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

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  54. Hee..larious. It's amazing what devils lie within when coaxed by some serious hard alcohol. Recently after 5 shots of tequila (dumb), I decided to jump into a friends pool with my party clothes on. Shoes, watch..you name it (stupid).
    I use to live in Redmond!

    Great post JM & I appreciate all your kind messages on my wee blog. Your amazing!

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  55. Oh man was THAT every stupid. In so many ways. I'd have to think he's used to that kind of behavior or I doubt if he would have done it when that drunk. Doing stupid stuff when your drunk is just being alittle more daring then you normally are.

    But great story! And....(ready?) it wasn't very long either. Or big I mean.

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  56. I bet he's got a hell of a driver in his club sack. Wonder if he prefers short strokes to going long.

    Love,

    Gutter Mom

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  57. Was his Johnson up to par?? LOL!

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  58. Maybe he can sue Jack Daniels for making him do what he did, or what he was accused of doing?? Maybe he should sue Jack Daniels for making him forget what he did?? LOL!!
    Yikes! Expensive mistake.

    Hugs!!

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  59. Laugh. Out. Loud! haha! You are hillarious! Guess i'm not the only one that goes crazy drinking Jake. :)

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  60. Another highly esteemed public official goes up in flames! What is the deal with these guys?

    How is it that they (or so many of them) seem to think we want to see their tiny little dicks? Weird!

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  61. Love your blog! It's nice to have a good chuckle to end the day. :)

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  62. Had to read this to my hubby...although he's quiet and reserved in front of others...this is totally the kind of comment he'd make behind closed doors! He found this pretty amusing.

    Thanks for stopping by today! Just curious how you found me! ;-)

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  63. Hehehehe. Cute! My mom was personal assistant to a high powered business guy and she was always having to cover up his affairs. It amazed me how common stuff like that was. And one of his employees would do inappropriate things like what was outlined above. She'd just run around trying to clean up the messes and hoping no one sued.

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  64. Nice move, dude. :-)

    And "Ball Washer" always makes me giggle when I golf. :-)

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  65. The story is great, but the way you tell it is soooo much better! I'm still laughing.

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  66. Two full glasses of Jack, and I might fuck almost anyone, thats dangerous drinking :)

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  67. Speechless. I am always astounded by the stupidity of people, esp. those you expect to be smarter since they are what would considered to be "successful". With people like this, who needs The Onion? Jack Daniels must have ruined countless professional lives: that thing IS strong. I love the scene in "Management" when Steve Zahn drinks JD straight from the bottle with a straw. Classic.

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  68. Great. Another D-bag giving my beloved Jack Daniels bad press...

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Now, let's talk about your feelings....