Monday, August 10, 2009

Let's play WHO IS DUMBER

Today, join me for a game. Let's call it Who Is Dumber. If neither of these stories is about you, you are automatically a winner. As for who is actually dumber here, you decide.

Contestant 1:

A Florida man who likes child porn blamed it all on kitty cat. Last week, Keith Griffin from Jensen Beach, FL, was charged with 10 counts of possession of child pornography. He told investigators he was simply downloading music. And while he momentarily left the room, his cat pounced on his keyboard. He returned to find "strange things" on his computer. I kid you not, this is all in the sheriff's report.

Really Mr Griffin? Your cat is responsible for downloading more than 1000 images? Of porn? And the most atrocious kind of porn at that?

And cats can type? Than what in the world is our lazy Dakota just doing sleeping all day when there are things to do!?!?!? She could certainly be put to use as "Blog Writing Assistant".

And couldn't you come up with something better? Your cousin? Your foolish kid brother? A neighbor? Your cat is perhaps the worst possible scapegoat. Of all time.

And while Mr. Griffin is being held on $250,000 bond, the sheriff's report also noted the cat has not been charged. REALLY? Don't make me add you to the contest, person who wrote the sheriff's report. I think we all know the cat is not going to be charged.

Enjoy the Federal Pen Mr. Griffin. You will be a nice treat for some of the long-timers. Guess what, they don't like pedophiles in prison.

Contestants 2 & 3:

A school teacher and school nurse arrested for selling pot-laced Rice Krispie Treats.

First, I am sure the Principal of the Humboldt County, CA school where this Nurse worked wondered why kids were constantly wanting to lay on the cots in the Nurse's office.

These two women were selling pot-laced Rice Krispies treats to undercover officers at a three-day reggae concert in Mendocino County. Oh, I know...no one would ever sell, buy, or smoke pot at an outdoor concert.

However, Molly Rombalski, 36, the school nurse, and Theresa Tripp, 38, a teacher, are facing trial on accusations that include marijuana sales and possession of marijuana for sale. Ms. Tripp must have been high because she also attempted to run away from the arresting officer. Unsuccessful, she was apprehended and had a few more charges piled on.

Ms. Tripp, do you need me to tell you to NEVER attempt to run from a police officer? Next time you get the inkling, just go to YouTube and look up "Tazer victims". Hopefully that will cure your fidgety feet.

When they first offered the treats to the undercover officers at $2.50 each, the officers declined. However, these entrepreneurs kept up their sales pitch until it ended in arrest.

Umm, you put pot in your lightly colored Rice Krispie treat? If I were to choose a vehicle in which to hide something, I would not select a Rice Krispie treat to do it. Did you also sell your pot-infused water? Water would have fit your theme of Things You Can Easily Detect Pot In.

Further, the ladies gave the old wink-wink to the officers and the "Are you sure? These are going really fast..." Wink wink wink. Guess how the officers discovered the pot? BY LOOKING.

No one puts oregano in Rice Krispie treats so the jig was up. Have fun not being allowed back on school property. No, they were not selling to children. However, the School Board likely doesnt want faculty members with access to pot, AND this stupid on their payroll.

Bless your hearts ladies, and not in the good way.

Who is dumber? Ummm, I think its a tie.

Who is a bigger scumbag? Oh, the good time gals don't hold a candle to vile CatMan.

88 comments:

Chic Mama said...

1. Yeah terrible but to blame it on a cat?? Sick idiot

2. I can't help but giggle at that, I know it's illegal and I certainly don't advocate drug use, especially after what my family & I are going through but.....very entrepreneurial.

My name is PJ. said...

Wow, I missed these two news stories, but somehow I think you're reporting of them trumps the manner in which they were first written. In the idiocy race, it's a dead heat...we'll have a photo finish. In the race to a seat in hell? I'd say "Contestant 1 - Hell starts now and the temperature will continue to rise."

J.J. in L.A. said...

I think the porn king has a slight edge. The cat is smarter than he is.

Dustjacket Attic said...

True stories never fail to amaze me, honestly a scripwriter would never think up the things that are actually happening around us, they would say it was too stupid!
xxx

MelRoXx said...

interesting game, gal!

Nora Johnson said...

Truth is stranger than fiction -amen!

Superb post - as always!

xxxLOL LOLA:)

Naija bad boi.... said...

looooooooooooooool.........

Emily said...

Hm, I think all three of them have surpassed even the highest level of stupidity!

Gin said...

I do believe that MY cat could manage to do that.

Marie Antionette said...

Dumb asses!!!Of course the porn story takes the the dumb ass award,but they all should go to prison for a long time.the porn guy should not get out at all.I know what should be done to him....Lets just say, I would show no mercy.XXOO Marie Antionette

mo.stoneskin said...

Personally I'm inclined to think that the cat had something to do with it. Not the downloading mind, or the pouncing on a keyboard - why would a cat do that and somehow hit a porn sharing site?

No, I suspect that the cat was an undercover detective. Probably a Brit. MI5 perhaps. It was the cat that called the cops.

Sami said...

I read that cat news article over the weekend and it just baffled me. Are people really that stupid to think they can get away with dastardly deeds? Yeesh.

Bex said...

what will happen to the cat while he is in prison? will the poor cat go to some halfway home for cats whose parents are incapable of taking of them?

rice krispie treats? ugh. at this rate, reform law is not going to happen in my lifetime.

Jules said...

I'm going with #1. It's not like the school teacher and nurse were selling the pot TO the kids......

sheila said...

I hope they lock up the sick bastard. ick.

People are insane and that dude is naaaaaaaasty.

Vodka Logic said...

I vote for the first idiot. A cat.. they are smart but...

Enlightening for sure.
xx

darsden said...

OMG they are all stupid and should go to jail...The purv should never get out of jail!
The women should never be allowed to ever work around children again. This world is full crazy people!

Lauren said...

Okay, contestants 2 & 3 are definitely just dumb...and high. The cat guy though, makes me hate living in Florida! Seriously, why do all of the pedophiles, child molesters, rapists and general degenerants live in Florida? Do they all really like the beach that much?

Simon said...

After seeing those examples, you should read Mysterg’s post ‘The Dead Parrot Defence’ – defences made by people who have nothing else more credible to say.

Shop Girl* said...

Oh sweet mother... where do these people come from? They should be forced to wear a "stupid" sign. Have you read Andy Rooney's "Stupid People"? I posted it a while back... it's genius!

http://blog.iheartmyshoes.com/2009/02/stupider-people.html

Southern Champagne Wishes said...

Maybe the first guy believes that he's going to get away with some kind of insanity defense by saying something so ridiculous. Also, after some of the crazy things I've read, I wouldn't put it past some idiot to try to charge the cat with a crime (poor cat, I think even kitty jail would be preferable to living with a pervert)!

Theresa said...

Oh. My. I would say guy is a sicko and the two ladies are just plain stupid. Superbly written.

Have had to move my blog. Can tell you where if you want and email me. :)

Sabrina said...

Kitty porn guy... ICK! What a d-bag! Poor cat gets the blame... :(

Scrappy Girl said...

Both these stories are unbelievable...wow!

mrsb said...

Yes, I'm sure that cat danced out "(insert vile google search term here)" on his computer while he was out. Then hit "download".

Idiot.

Nancy said...

Complete toss up there. I'd say it's a tie. Though I'd say the porn-nut gets points for imagination. (sick as it might be)

Bev said...

I'm going with the kitty porn dude. What a moron!

Thanks for this post, btw. I suddenly feel much smarter this morning.

Sunshinemeg said...

What the heck is wrong with people. Blame it on the cat!? Seriously?

Kris said...

hmmmm i need to think about this some more!

Deborah Godin said...

The cat typed porn? Must have been freaked out if its mind on Twinkies.

Kitten said...

I really have to choose between these two? I don't think I could, but I'm leaning more towards the school nurse and the teacher, considering what happened with the kids.

f8hasit said...

Amazing examples of how stupid people really CAN be.
Thanks for the post! I missed both of these news blips.
:-)

Ela said...

At least 2&3 don't make me sick to my stomach. Heard of brownies but rice krispies, really? Yeah - I guess if you normally sprinkle your rice krispie treats with oregano...you'd think this was *completely normal*...

Stephanie Faris said...

I find the cat man story pretty scary. The CAT? Did he really think that would work?

JenJen said...

#1 is the biggest nutjob ever. My hope is all sickos are equally as bright.
#2 is funny. Sorry. I think I need some Rice Crispie Treats. With Oregano.

Karyn - (French Charming) said...

My vote is for the guy from FloriDUH!

JennyMac said...

OH, these comments crack me up. And I hit publish on my own comment above before I had a chance to finish it! Multi tasking doesnt pay off...or then again..my cat did it.

McVal said...

Wow! That is one sick kitty! Ranks up there with my dog ate my homework. Really? Is that the best he could come up with? He'll have fun in prison...

As for the women, sigh... I think they'd already eaten a few crispies before they started hawking them.

I think it's a tie.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

Oh, I get it. The cat was up there on the computer googling "kitty porn" and just mistyped. Stupid illiterate cat.

La La La Leah said...

I always knew cats were evil and out to get us... this just proves it........................

Rice Krispie Treats are good and easy to make so easy even these dumb ladies could make them. But I do have an easy brownie recipe.

People are stupid and I do not feel bad for them.

Badass Geek said...

Unreal. They all are unbelievably stupid.

One Sassy Girl said...

Wow, you know how to find 'em. These people are beyond awful. I'm left wondering what came of the leftover laced rice krispy treats...

Lady Di said...

Good thing I don't have a cat. The other two nimrods might not be able to help themselves, they DO live in Humboldt County after all. While I am sure there are very nice people living there, it is like the pot growing capital in the United States. You can probably get a contact high just driving through that place.

otherworldlyone said...

1. I blame stuff on my cat all the time...but that's just ridiculous.

2. What idiots! Everyone knows you're supposed to use brownies. Duh.

The Bug said...

Very sad - I guess when you're hooked on something it makes your judgment pretty bad.

ladytruth said...

See! The last story is just more proof that they need to up the usual teacher's salary!

Baloney said...

I think they were for medicinal purposes... right?

Hollyrocks said...

Well they're all pretty dumb, but claiming that your cat just happened to download kittie porn (haha!) is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. So my vote goes to Pervie McGee.

B.o.B. said...

I sh*t you not, I think all the freaks come to Florida. I really hope they aren't just born here. I should think about relocating...

Someone should have told those ladies to just say nope to dope.

Inna said...

When I read this the first time around I thought you meant they were actually caught selling laced krispy treats at school. But now that I realize my mistake, I feel much better.

Lisa and Laura said...

It's nice to start off the week feeling smarter than someone, anyone. Thanks for that.

Kate said...

Love the game!

Cafe Fashionista said...

When I read about Contestant # 1 on CNN yesterday, I was appalled. To have the gall to blame something as lecherous and low-class as downloading child pornography on a feline? If this is what society is coming to we may as well just call it quits now.

Love your blog - so witty and intelligent! :)

confused homemaker said...

1. Cats aren't into kiddie porn, everyone knows that.

2. People who go to reggae concerts selling pot laced rice-kripsy treats well now that's just common sense.

New England Girl said...

Some people are just unbelievable. A cat, really? Like you, I could come up with a million and one other scapegoats that might have sounded a bit better... just a bit. He's going exactly where he deserves to go. They'll have fun with him and his excuses in jail!

And 2&3 are just idiotic. Really, ladies? If you're going to try and profit from special Rice Krispie treats, you deserve to be caught, thrown out of your job and ridiculed. At least pick something that you can disguise your little goodies in. You'd think they'd have learned by now!

I, as always, love, adore and laugh out loud at your commentary. Bravo! :)

Vivienne said...

Cat-Man is clearly the bigger scum-bag. However, he tried to get out of the charges. Snap and Crackle actually wiggled IN to the charges. (Pop narrowly missed getting arrested, I am sure.)

However, Humboldt County is a, um, special place. One of my roommates at college was from Humboldt County. Her GRANDMOTHER used to mail her care packages. (Including pot-laced brownies, rolling papers and special mushrooms for tea...)

Jen said...

Wow, I have no words.

Melissa B. said...

I just have one thing to say. I think MY principal could use some of those Rice Krispie Treats. He's not much of a mellow fellow, if you know what I mean...

The Vegetable Assassin said...

Was porn guy related to PETER Griffin? That would explain a LOT. Also, if a cat looks at kiddie porn does this become KITTY porn?

I'll stop now.

The Blonde Duck said...

Darwin has a plan...

Kathy B! said...

I'd heard about #1... missed 2 and 3. Doesn't inspire much pride in humanity, does it?!

Fishsticks and Fireflies said...

BROWNIES, ladies, BROWNIES. Any good resident of Humboldt County knows that! I'll have to share that with hubby - he went to college in Humboldt and then worked as a paramedic and police officer up there . . . oh, the stories he tells!

foxy said...

Yeah, my vote is for the porn freak kitty-blamer. That is the dumbest think EVAH! And someone needs to tell those ladies that it's pot brownies, not crispies. Duh.

Glamour Girl said...

Well, if someone actually did charge the cat, then they would officially win the award over the person who blamed the cat and the person who noted the cat was not charged.

Pot laced rice krispie treats - genius! You get high, you want munchies, you buy more rice krispie treats!

Maia and Lara said said...

Thanks for leaving comment on my blog. I just joined yours, very cool.

Julia )

Heidi said...

Oh my gosh!! People are insane, especially that first guy. A cat? Seriously??

And, rice Krispie treats?? What were they thinking? Brownies. Always brownies. ;)

Great post.

HalfAsstic.com said...

Oh, I think the Krispy-pot ladies take the "Dumb prize" hands down. The perv was just plain desperate and not thinking very well.

Five Moms & A Blog said...

Oh my. Blaming the cat, huh????

Let me tell ya, if cats are CAPABLE, then the TEN CATS that live on my front porch are in for a real treat when I get home. They'd better get to work instead of laying around all day long doing nothing and forcing me to buy more FOOD for them rather than eating all the mice, snakes, and grasshoppers!

E =0)

Luna said...

these people really are dumb. blaming the cat for child porn is a new one. there are sick people in this world. its sad that you never know who some of them are.

Hit 40 said...

My vote is that the ladies were dumber. They lost a great paying job with summers off. The dude probably just sat around all day looking at porn. I am sure the cat was glad to see his lazy ass gone.

Then again.... maybe the ladies will find an even better job now??

Mira is triplet crown said...

The first guy is the bigger idiot. The ladies could at least claim to have not known they were cops and they didn't make excuses like the cat knocked the pot into the rice krispie mix when they weren't looking. Although the running away thing...

I ask again, where do you find your news?

Green-Eyed Momster said...

I'd blame my pussy for porn too! (insert sarcasm here!)

2&3? Seriously, I would have loved those rice krispie treats when I was in school. Just sayin'....

YIKES!!

Hugs!!

CatLadyLarew said...

I think I really SHOULD get a cat so I can blame everything on it. Thanks for the tip. Now, off to make some Rice Krispie Treats!

Samsmama said...

Wow. I suddenly feel like a total genius! But am thinking about getting a cat and making some rice krispie treats.

Marketing Mama said...

Okay.. the teacher and the school nurse? Totally dumb. I'm glad tey weren't selling them AT SCHOOL to children, however.

Thanks for stopping by my blog yesterday. :)

The Constant Complainer said...

I vote for the dude and his cat. What a perv. I saw that story in our local newspaper as well and couldn't believe it. I'm digging this contest and enjoyed reading your other readers' votes.

The Savage said...

I pick the sheriff....

Stepfanie said...

Hi! Visiting from SITS! You have a very lovely blog!

I'm having 2 giveaways on my blog, enter them here at www.stepfaniestimeout.com

Hyphen Mama said...

1) can the cat sign a check to post bail?

2) in this economy, it's always good to hear of a few job openings!

Deboshree said...

Holy God!
Hehehehe..there is no end to idiots in this world. The pedophile wins the race!

BTW thanks for dropping by ^_^

Cheers
Deboshree

Alicia said...

oh yikes....these people are complete wastes of space. and the catman...he better sleep with one eye open!

Intense Guy said...

Its really sad someone would try to blame a poor little defenseless cat for... ugh. Just ugh.

In the other case, you could always blame "sampling the goods" before you sold 'em.

You could post 100 cases of idiocy a day and never run out of blog fodder.

Hannah Miet said...

Well, the cat is clearly the dumb one and deserves to drop the soap in prison.

That being said, I believe--not that I'm using former outdoor concert experiences as proof,um, or anything--that marijuana isn't actually green when the THC is melted into butter and used in krispie treats. This also should serve as commentary on how unfairly low teacher's salaries. But still, those women are stupid. This was a tough choice. I'm sticking with the cat. That feline pedophile!

WhiteSockGirl said...

Ah, and my dog is getting dates for my on adult sites!

That is why I find real life court dramas so interesting. You would hear the weirdest stories.

Sometime ago I wrote about the boy who told the magistrate that he slaughtered the chicken because the chicken was stalking him.

On that note, I should really make another turn at the court.

Cocaine Princess said...

I agree with you, it's a tie although I laughed at the perv's blame it on the cat excuse!!

sarah m said...

Shut.UP!! What is with people?! I might have to vote #1. Though #2 almost gets my vote for pushing the sale. Wack jobs.

Rachel M. said...

I can't say who's dumber but the 2nd one has me laughing really hard.

Little Miss Baker said...

you need to write a book. that is all.