Last time I was in Seattle visiting my family, I left my Mom's downtown office and spied a bar called "The Honey Pot." While it isn't offensive, mind you, I do think it lacks a little, well, panache. Now honey pot could refer to your nether region, your good stuff. But it is also what one company calls their mobile sh*tters. (eg: port-o-johns)
And once you know that, "Honey Pot" just loses any saucy allure it may have held.
So in the event you wanted more where this came from, and in the spirit of TGIF, here are the worst actual bar names I have heard and their location. Oh yes, I know some of them are a play on words, trust me. But really? That's the best you could do?
And once you know that, "Honey Pot" just loses any saucy allure it may have held.
So in the event you wanted more where this came from, and in the spirit of TGIF, here are the worst actual bar names I have heard and their location. Oh yes, I know some of them are a play on words, trust me. But really? That's the best you could do?
Pink Taco: LA
Whiskey Dix: Winnipeg
Happy Cock: Japan
Post Coitus: JapanLabia: Tokyo
Manhole: Chicago (gay bar)
Dog and Sphincter: England
The Cock: ManhattanDog and Sphincter: England
The Wet Spot: Houston
Spread Eagle: Bury, England
The Quiet Woman: York, England (The logo is a woman carrying her severed head. And yes, perhaps this is the only way you will be sure she will be quiet.)
Cheers. And by all means, if you are savvy to additional names, tell all.
And all the fabulous commenters from Tuesday were placed in a magic hat from the finest of milliner's this morning. Thanks for celebrating my 6 month half-a-birthday-blog-o-versary.
The IHC Overnight giveaway winner is the wonderful AmyK at Life's Not a Cruise. One night off compliments of JennyMac. Congratulations.
PS: Someone asked me if I work there. No. I WISH. I would give away rooms galore and be on permanent vacation. I just know fab when I see it, and wanted to share it. Have a great weekend.
Cheers. And by all means, if you are savvy to additional names, tell all.
And all the fabulous commenters from Tuesday were placed in a magic hat from the finest of milliner's this morning. Thanks for celebrating my 6 month half-a-birthday-blog-o-versary.
The IHC Overnight giveaway winner is the wonderful AmyK at Life's Not a Cruise. One night off compliments of JennyMac. Congratulations.
PS: Someone asked me if I work there. No. I WISH. I would give away rooms galore and be on permanent vacation. I just know fab when I see it, and wanted to share it. Have a great weekend.
Not a bar name, but there's a shop in Dublin that sells door handles etc called 'Nobs and Knockers' :D
ReplyDeleteSometimes I feel old and this is one of them. Smart humor, for me, is not obvious or easy. For me, Howard Stern, thought of as hysterically funny by many, is the king of stupid humor - obvious and easy. The funniest bar name in your list for me...the only funny bar name...was "The Quiet Woman" and only because it had her carrying her severed head. It was unique and I got a chuckle out of it. That's why I feel old. If I was 18-25, I'm sure I would think they were all clever. ;)
ReplyDeleteHmm...is visiting bars a pastime of yours, m'dear? :)
ReplyDeleteTrust us to come up with Spread Eagle and the Dog and Sphincter. The Dog and Sphincter???!!! Seriously??!!!
ReplyDeleteB x
I think the best name for a nightclub would be "The Nightclub". As in THE nightclub.
ReplyDelete"Where are you going tonight?"
"Oh, to The Nightclub."
"The Nightclub?"
Yeah. It'd totally rock.
Believe it or not we actually have a "Spread Eagle" pub in pretty much every town. One of the sad things about our country is that there are very few freehouses left.
ReplyDeleteAgree with mo.stoneskin on the Spread Eagle thing ... I once lived in a village where a pub was painted bright pink but called The Bluebell
ReplyDeleteI knew of a bar that favored the ladies called Lickety Split. I've been to the Brass Balls Saloon. Same beach town as Big Peckers. I know I could think of more if I tried...
ReplyDeleteThose are some disgusting names! Of course, I'd have gone into every one!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou must be like me and hit a bar in every town.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to AmyK for winning.
ReplyDeleteYou like Spread Eagle: Bury, England since you listed it twice lol..
They are a good lot of bar names.. none so imaginative around me.
Laura x
Glad to see my hometown made the list.
ReplyDeleteWhen you're looking for a bar to go to...it's always the name that draws me in.
ReplyDeleteHah...good stuff.
ReplyDeleteThis one isn't a bar and its not sexual but there is a hair salon in NJ called 'Curl Up and Dye'.
I always thought that was funny
We have one bar here called "The Rooftop Library Bar". Its above a library, for obvious reasons... but I don't know why they had to include library in the name. Its so dark in the place I don't think anyone's going to be reading any books.
ReplyDeleteThese are great! I'm afraid I have no contributions at all that would be in the same league. Shoot, I don't have any contributions period!
ReplyDeleteCongrat to AmyK! I hope she emjoys her hight off!
I'm a sucker for bars with horrible names like that, I think it only adds to the mystic of what is that "smell" or what is that sticky to the table?
ReplyDeleteAustin's famous 6th Street had a lounge called the Velveeta Room. The logo was a rope with a piece of cheese draped over it.
ReplyDeleteWell, let's see...we've got:
ReplyDelete- Footlongs
- Cream Nightclub
- Minky's Social Club (which some people might not get, but I've heart some weirdos refer to their business as their "minky")
- Double D
- Slick & Peewees
- P Palace
- D & A One Stop
And since you're in Georgia, I know you've heard of Dick's?
There are tons...but yours are better. Not to mention that I find just about everything 'suggestive'.
The bar in our town is called "The Wooden Shoe." I don't know why.
ReplyDeleteI'm not a bar or pub type person at all... But I do know that in Ireland there is a ratio of 2 pubs per person in each town...
ReplyDeleteAt least it seemed that way.
Congrats to Amy!
in birmingham, alabama there is a gay bar called "the toolbox" and in montgomery, alabama there used to be a bar called "ho john" but it got closed down. we used to go all the time because it had the best drag revue.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder what makes some people think, "yeah, this must be a good idea..."
ReplyDeleteThere used to be a bar in San Fran called Who's Your Daddy.
Let's just say you should never let your gay friends keep you at the Albuquerque Mining Company until the lights come up at last call.
ReplyDeleteSome of my family members have been to "Oz" in New Orleans. It's a gay club. I liked to think that men dress up as Dorothy and Toto and skip around singing "We're Off to See the Wizard...."
ReplyDeleteI used to live near a Dew Drop Inn but I'd definitely attend a bar called The Lady Garden.
ReplyDeleteIt's usually our hairdressers that have the worst names
'Shaggers' etc.
Oh heck, there are some crackers there.
ReplyDeleteCongrat's Amy, have fun :)
xxx
Okay, not a bar, but there's a place in Texas that sells alcohol...Beaver Liquor. And they sell tee-shirts and there are actually people who buy them!
ReplyDeleteOh this is too funny! I don't think I would walk into any of those places. I would be completely embarrassed!
ReplyDeleteNo way for me to contribute today. Haven't been to a bar in ages. Sad really. Now I'll have to look at names at least since they seem to provide good entertainment.
ReplyDeleteThose are some crazy names. There are a couple restaurants that have odd themes that I have heard:
ReplyDeleteHeart Attack Grill (AZ)- think super fried, fatty foods causing heart attacks. Nice.
Cheeba Hut (AZ,NM,CO) - think high patrons giggling at everything.
Perhaps these names sounded like a better idea when the owners were three sheets to the wind?
ReplyDeleteHow funny! I can't think of any right now but there are some very suggestive names out there.
ReplyDeleteAnd some of them are very original on the inside. There's a bar on an old part of Route 66 that has hundreds of bras hanging from the ceiling. Women come in and take off their bras and sign and date them and they are hung up.
I've only been there a couple of times. I left with mine still on both times.
I just have to add, if you think about it, just cocktail says a lot.LOL
ReplyDeleteOh goodness. I think I'm just going to sit here and blush.
ReplyDeleteI'm a sucker for bars with funny names. I always seem to have the most fun in them!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog!
JennyMac
ReplyDeleteI love love love your balls-out approach to writing. And this post did not disappoint. I got nothin' though, for the list. So theres that.
Now I have a whole new thought about the word Honeypot, not a good one, ha.
ReplyDeleteWhiskey Dix is a pretty big venue up here you know! And they have good pizzas! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, what's up with the Japanese? :)
It's not dirty...but a bar in my college town was called The Library. I suppose so when mom called you could tell her you were going to have to spend the night in "the library."
ReplyDeleteOh, those names really are awful! Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteChristi
Yikes, I think Japan has the dubioux honor of having the best/worst bar names. There must be another reality show in there somewhere...
ReplyDeleteOkay the gay bar Manhole is my all time favorite!
ReplyDeleteThe pink taco? Oh pah'lease!
AHAHHAH, I thought those names were simply brilliant. And kind of makes me think that the people were drunk to begin with. Ah well.
ReplyDeleteBe sure and pop by & leave a note!
-Laila
www.randomweavings.blogspot.com
Ahhhh...the wet spot...the quitessential sports bar...not a bad place to catch a game or a guy who wouldn't even notice you naked because of all the "action" in there...
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it's still there, but the Flyer & Firkin in Reading was suitably nonsensical. Also, but on a slight tangent, there's a pub over here with a restaurant franchise attached.... the charmingly named 'Swill & Grill'.
ReplyDeleteGutted not to have won the night off, especially since I already listed it on eBay. Looks like THAT'S coming out of my own pocket..
Those are so funny:-)
ReplyDeleteIn Cape Town we have an art movie house called the Labia. It's named after some countess. The Mount Nelson Hotel is next to the Labia. It's painted pink. The old joke goes: What's pink and next to the labia? The Mount Nelson.
ReplyDeleteI used to live in Chicago and visited the Manhole on a couple of occasions. I mean how do you not at least check out the Manhole? That sounds so wrong.
ReplyDeleteThere's a Chinese restaurant here called 'Young Dong'...probably refering to their waiters.
ReplyDeleteLOL Ahh yes Honey Pot definitely loses it allure. As for the other names, I'm pretty sure they never had any allure! lol
ReplyDeleteOMG! That is too funny.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog!
Holy porno bar names batman! (How do you say that in Japanese I wonder)?
ReplyDeleteThose bars in Japan are well...they makea-me blush. lol.
That's frickin hysterical! Thanks for a good laugh!
The Beaver Trap.... Some strip club, somewhere....
ReplyDeleteI'm still stuck on The Honey Pot as a name for a port a potty... I'm unsure as to WHY they picked that for a toilet?? Ewwwww....
ReplyDeleteWhat were they thinking?
ReplyDeletethanks for stopping by for my SITS day on Tuesday.
Thanks for making my night! That was the best ever. Can you imagine that bar crawl?
ReplyDeleteDisgusting. I can't imagine waltzing in and having a drink at any of those places! That's just plain disturbing!
ReplyDeleteThere is a package store in Salem, MA called Bunghole Liquor - no joke. But my all time favorite pub name comes from New Zealand - The Honest Lawyer.
ReplyDeleteHilarious names - names with character!
ReplyDeleteIn Britain, we have a dessert called Spotted Dick... (really!)
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leading me to yours. Love it! You are so freakin' witty and I love the way you write. Hope you don't mind having a new fan!!! : )
ReplyDeleteDuring my many adventures I have run across a couple good ones:
ReplyDeleteNice Rack (billiards and bar), El Cajon, CA
Peters, Portland, OR
Boners, Newark, NJ
The Back Door, Louisville, Ky
Fluffers Club, London (don't know if this one is still open),
Maneaters, Kansas City, MO
and the best one (IMHO)
Lake Peckerwood, somewhere in the mid-southern states...I was driving...and laughing!!
Fun, Fun, FUN!!!! Great blog - ALWAYS entertaining!!
Tumbleweed
Around here, the "honey dipper" is what you call the truck that comes and cleans out the cesspool...
ReplyDeleteJust the other day, I saw a restaurant that entered the best pulled pork sandwich contest on Good Morning America, and it was called "Pull My Pork."
ReplyDeleteThen, there's a dog grooming salon in Providence, RI called Doggy Style.
Of course, I'd go to either place if they were closer to home. Thanks for stopping by the other day for some turtle love! Cool site you've got here.
oh my god! do these really exist??
ReplyDeleteNot a lot. A few minor miracles perhaps. Preservation from death by meteorite-strike for example, or being trampled by herds of wildebeest.
ReplyDeleteThe Cock Inn is a not uncommon pub name in England – I used to go to one such near where I last lived – and while it’s a handy pun (probably as much then as now), it stems from the equally unfortunately name sport of cock-fighting rather than as an example of blatant innuendo.
As others have already commented, The Spread Eagle is a fairly common pub name: it simply refers to a heraldic device; many pub names come from the aristocratic landowner and/or his coat of arms. The frequent use of ‘arms’ in pub names does give you the chance to say things like ‘I spent the night in the Queen’s (or King’s) Arms’.
And while I hesitate to correct you, as far as I know The Quiet Woman pub is in Derbyshire. The Headless Woman in Cheshire, with a similar signboard, doesn’t mess around with verbal ambiguities.
lol...these are funny...I wonder if the ladies liked the Happy Cock Bar in Tokyo...
ReplyDeleteWe have a Honey Pot! It is a speeding trap that the cops set up!
ReplyDeleteI almost hate to leave a comment, because you have 69 already and that seems terribly apropos. But, I will. Because I have to thank you for the laugh. :)
ReplyDeleteLol apparently the word 'cock' is also quite popular here for names. oh and 'talking cock'- we have a popular local forum called that, though its more of the lines of cock-eyed lol
ReplyDeleteLabia??? Ew. I hate the word almost as much as I hate the word see you next tuesday. ew.
ReplyDeletehahaha.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Winnipeg and Wiskey Dix is a veryy unclassy country music bar.
But don't forget the classic "Hooters".
There is a bar at The Lake of the Ozarks called "Big Dick's Halfway Inn".
ReplyDelete