Thursday, June 25, 2009

Ouch



What might fall under the "Things you do for love" heading, would surely also fall under the "Are you ________ kidding me" subcategory.

Often while reviewing various online newspapers, I, just like you, encounter news bits that are quite unbelievable. Alas, we know that truth is stranger than fiction because fiction typically must make sense.

In Cairo a few weeks ago, a 25 year old Egyptian man, denied by his parents to marry the girl of his dreams decided that retribution for their narrow minds was his only alternative. His spite of choice? Oh, cutting of his penis.

I think even Akhenaten and Queen Nefertiti shuddered beneath their gold encrusted tombs.

And no, I am not fabricating these details. After lobbying his family to marry a woman of a lower social class (which is highly frowned upon in the conservative province of Qena), he reached the last resort. So not only does he cut off his penis, he heats up the knife to do it.

To make the process more expedited and efficient? Ouch.

At the hospital, medical personnel determined the damage was irreversible.

There are so many things wrong with this story. Surely, his pals should have interceded. I guarantee if any friend of mine at that age indicated becoming a eunuch was a near-term plan, we would have staged an intervention.

And he did this at age 25? Are 25 year old men at the pinnacle of their development? Is the penis not the primary source of decision making and thought process for the average man this age? What happens then?

And if you want to teach your Dad a lesson, let me help you make a list of other potentially less painful options.

You can change your name, pretend you don't know him, denounce his bloodline even. You can opt to never step foot in his house again. You can wear a disguise and flee. You can take your wanton love, put it in a suitcase, and hit the street. However, what you should never, never do is take a hot searing knife and dismember your member.

And just to be clear, I am not certain removing your own penis will actually teach your Dad a lesson but I think it is a bit late to make suggestions, isn't it?

And be it to cliche and trite to say that if can literally chop off your own King Tut, well, then at the bare minimum, you have balls. Probably won't get him to the altar, but this is a story for the ages of what you should never, ever do for love.

2 comments:

Laura said...

Sounds like another, cut off your nose to spite your face story. Sad.

UPrinting said...

Oh the things we do for love. Or at least, what this dude did. :D

And LOL at the 25-years-old men comment! Good one. I don't know if that is true though. I don't wanna comment on that. :)